Hiii!! idk how you found this, but this site used to look very different once! I am zombehvamp aka Rowan aka ruru and here you can find my art, my animations and my daily life blogs. The site is turning into a nice, safe place where I can just have fun and focus on the good things only (and art mostly)!! I also stream and do youtube stuff but not very often, it's not my main thing. I don't use social media a lot either so here and newgrounds are the only places you can find me. fun ruru facts: I'm 21, my main language is spanish, I'm bipolar, I have a poodle named Mimi and a calico kitty named baby (but her name was supposed to be Amy Winehouse), This site is themed after my OC Rowan and it was made by my friend Alstar!!! CLICK THE BLACK AND WHITE BUTTON AND CHECK THEIR SITE NOOOOOOW!!

30/06/2025 8:54pm ♡ goodbye side fringe ♡

it finally happened, I gave myself straight bangs again! ummm my family likes how it looks like, I don't know how to feel yet. I think it was a good step towards my new "rebirth", I am evolving from ruru to... uhh I'm still choosing a new name! I'm stuck between millie (for millipede) and bonny (for bunny).
I drew something today! for my personal account. Not really for this one, umm it fits more with my current aesthetics and personality. It's my new ponysona with her centipede tail! I drew it in my phone with ibis paint X.

my tumblr account has been doing pretty well, the one I'm using now is still the smallest of all my accounts but it feels nice. I'm someone who obsessed over numbers and notifications so I think it does my brain well to not be focused on it. It focuses mostly in my creepy cute aesthetics, blogging and my insanity which I'm no longer putting here... My insane thoughts are now only heard by God!!! AND tumblr!! my GOATS!!.
I also downloaded threads today, it's very boring I don't think I'll use it much.

Today I ate carrot cake with avocado toast and goat cheese for breakfast, for lunch I had spaghetti with a special sauce I don't know the name of and for dessert I had a cinnamon roll. I ate lunch at 7pm... and breakfast at 12... I know I should fix my sleep schedule.

I was off my medication for several days, I lost track of how many but today I finally got them back and I'll start taking them tonight. I wonder if that'll help with the fact I've been sleeping all day lately! I haven't even been replying to my friends these past few days...

Lately I've been coming back to my recluse behaviour and it has made me wonder if it's in my nature to want to be alone, but if it was would I be craving love as much as I do? I day dream of being loved and held someday, to be someone's favorite person, for them to think about me all day! but I'm just a loser girl who rots in her bedroom all day ._.; is love even an option for a girl like me? I wonder, I wonder, I wonder...
On the topic of that I've been dreaming of having a family so much lately!! I know a girl like me is not fit to be a mother but I'd love to have a lil baby to take care of and make happy. And a husband too!!! am I cooked chat? is this the beginning of me becoming delusional??!?!?!? I never cared about this stuff before but I feel like with each month it grows stronger!!

I haven't gotten much done lately. When I tell you I've been rotting in bed I mean it! most productive thing I've been doing was cleaning my room the other and keeping up with my skincare... I am useless!! but not for long!! classes start again soon and I'm looking forward to it! I didn't achieve my goals of losing weight and becoming prettier but I guess it's fine. I don't got anyone to impress anyways so I'm not that worried.

Ah yes, beauty! my current obsession. I've been using social media more and I see all these girls in the same spot at me that are so loved because they're so pretty!! I wonder if I become skinny and pretty like them, maybe I can be loved too? I've tried it before and it did work!! maybe I should do it again.

I'll get back to drawing..... soon. I don't really want to go back to drawing but I promised I wouldn't quit so I won't. as for now, please enjoy my shitposts for I have nothing else to offer! I'll go back to watching my little pony and listening to music instead of studying lololol


song of the day: Lovefool - Post Modern Jukebox ft. Haley Reinhart



24/06/2025 12:5am ☆ new site thanks to friend ALEAH!!☆

I'm currently traveling but my friend Al has remodeled the whole site for us!! say thanks to them!! Many changes come to the site, most important of them all is that the site is going to be more focused in the good side of things and will never get too sad!! I've been meaning to take this route with my youtube channel as well, so I think I'll be taking it here too. Ofc conversations about mental health will be present, but never too in detail. I'll also be sharing about my OCs and my art and all that stuff :3 so what should I tell you today?

• Today I ate a brownie for breakfast, veggie soup with corn on the cob and pumpkin for lunch and one bread with avocado for "Once"(chilean dinner)
• I went out to the mall to get some paperwork stuff done and also stopped for a coffee I got for free hehe it was really awkward the guy kept touching my leg with his o_o; so I ended up leaving early
• I traveled to the big city next to mine, I'm visiting my siblings for a couple of days!! I've brought my computer with me!

I actually have plans to make a new site completely anonymous and for me where I can let out all my feelings and issues in there without getting it involved with my art and my youtube/streaming stuff! It's going to be completely different themed because it's time I tell you... *sniff* I've quit emo fashion... GASP!! how could you ruru!! well, I'm mostly into being a sweet girly girl so it has changed to a mory gothic lolita style T_T don't leave me!!! I still listen to emo music!! well that site is where I'll cry over being lonely and yearning for love, you don't have to worry about seeing here no more :3 art and animation pages will be reworked too, but I'll be the one working on those hehe although they might be abandoned for a bit since I plan working on the other site first... maybe. I need to figure out how I'll do the gallery, Might have to look for other examples :P but that's all for now!! I have to go, because I'm not at home and I'm staying in one room with my family xD so It's awkward to be typing so much, they're probably annooyed by the sooound of the keeeeyys!! see ya and hope you like the new stuff!